Things That Suck
SuckButt — Because some things just suck
Things That Suck
Unlimited has a footnote, and the footnote is the actual product
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Tech That Sucks
When the server retires, your perfectly good gadget becomes a paperweight
Cloud dependence turns hardware into a subscription that nobody described as one, and the end date is set by somebody else entirely.
The Internet Sucks
Reject All is one click, unless somebody paid for it to be twelve
Consent banners were meant to give you a choice. Most of them are engineered so that one choice is exhausting and the other is a…
The Internet Sucks
Why the recipe sits at the bottom of a short memoir
The story above the ingredients is not self-indulgence. It is a rational response to how search engines and advertising both work.
Workplace BS
The meeting that was an email, and the three that were the same email
Meetings expand because calling one is free for the organiser and expensive for everyone else. That asymmetry explains almost all…
Workplace BS
Corporate language exists to make a decision sound like weather
Nobody restructures. Restructuring happens. The grammar of workplace announcements is doing a specific and deliberate job.
Pains In The Butt
Hold music is not an apology, it is a queue management tool
The loop, the reassurances and the periodic voice are all tuned against one number: how long you will wait before hanging up.
Pains In The Butt
Clamshell packaging: the box that defeats the customer to defeat the thief
Rigid plastic welded shut around a small item is a loss-prevention device, and you are the one holding the scissors.
Things That Suck
Your printer has opinions about which ink you are allowed to buy
A cartridge chip is not a fuel gauge. It is an authentication token, and the printer is the bouncer.
Things That Suck
All things that suck →Things That Suck
The restocking fee is not a fee for restocking
It is charged as a percentage of the price rather than the cost of handling, which tells you what it is actually for.
Things That Suck
Unlimited has a footnote, and the footnote is the actual product
Nothing sold as unlimited is unlimited. The interesting question is where the real ceiling sits and why it is never printed next to…
Things That Suck
Your printer has opinions about which ink you are allowed to buy
A cartridge chip is not a fuel gauge. It is an authentication token, and the printer is the bouncer.
Things That Suck
The extended warranty is sold at the till for a reason
It is offered after you have decided, by someone paid to offer it, covering a period when failures are least likely.
Money Suckers
All money suckers →Money Suckers
Drip pricing: quoting a number nobody will ever actually pay
The headline price is engineered to win a comparison, not to be paid. Everything else arrives once you are already three screens in.
Money Suckers
The cancel button is three menus deep, and that is a design decision
Nobody accidentally builds a cancellation flow that takes nine clicks and a phone call. Every step in it was measured.
Money Suckers
The card machine asks whether you want to be charged in your own currency
Saying yes hands the exchange rate to whoever owns the terminal. The helpful-sounding question is the entire product.
Money Suckers
The free trial that needs your card is not measuring your interest
It is measuring how many people forget. A trial that requires payment details is a subscription with a delayed start.
Tech That Sucks
All tech that sucks →Tech That Sucks
The update that reboots your laptop halfway through a sentence
Forced updates solve a genuine security problem and were handed to teams whose job is compliance, not your afternoon.
Tech That Sucks
When the server retires, your perfectly good gadget becomes a paperweight
Cloud dependence turns hardware into a subscription that nobody described as one, and the end date is set by somebody else entirely.
Tech That Sucks
The update removed the feature you were using it for
Software regressions are not accidents of engineering. They are the visible edge of a decision about which users still count.
Tech That Sucks
Every app now wants to send you notifications about itself
The permission prompt appears before you have used the thing, because asking later would mean asking someone who has an opinion.
The Internet Sucks
All the internet sucks →The Internet Sucks
Reject All is one click, unless somebody paid for it to be twelve
Consent banners were meant to give you a choice. Most of them are engineered so that one choice is exhausting and the other is a…
The Internet Sucks
Why the recipe sits at the bottom of a short memoir
The story above the ingredients is not self-indulgence. It is a rational response to how search engines and advertising both work.
The Internet Sucks
Infinite scroll removed the bottom of the page on purpose
The end of a list used to be a natural place to stop. Somebody noticed that stopping points cost engagement, and deleted them.
The Internet Sucks
Only three left, apparently, for the last six months
Countdown timers and scarcity badges are conversion tools. Some of them describe real stock, and telling the difference takes ten…
Workplace BS
All workplace bs →Workplace BS
The meeting that was an email, and the three that were the same email
Meetings expand because calling one is free for the organiser and expensive for everyone else. That asymmetry explains almost all…
Workplace BS
Corporate language exists to make a decision sound like weather
Nobody restructures. Restructuring happens. The grammar of workplace announcements is doing a specific and deliberate job.
Workplace BS
The open-plan office was sold as collaboration and delivered headphones
Removing the walls was justified by spontaneous interaction. What it reliably produces is people wearing noise-cancelling…
Workplace BS
Reply all: how one message becomes four hundred
A distribution list plus a reply-all button plus a request to stop replying all is a self-sustaining reaction with a known shape.
Pains In The Butt
All pains in the butt →Pains In The Butt
Hold music is not an apology, it is a queue management tool
The loop, the reassurances and the periodic voice are all tuned against one number: how long you will wait before hanging up.
Pains In The Butt
Clamshell packaging: the box that defeats the customer to defeat the thief
Rigid plastic welded shut around a small item is a loss-prevention device, and you are the one holding the scissors.
Pains In The Butt
The traffic jam with no crash in it
A queue can form on an empty stretch of motorway with no obstruction anywhere. The cause is behind you, several minutes ago.
Pains In The Butt
They moved the bread again, and they know exactly where they moved it
Supermarket layouts are rearranged deliberately and periodically. The disorientation is not a side effect of the change, it is most…